I recently witnessed a team building exercise involving four large teams who were told that each team represented a particular belief. They were tasked to convert the group with the opposing belief to their way of thinking. Each team successfully assigned a leader, but no-one asked questions to gain clear understanding of what their belief meant to the team or what was their strategy to convert people across. In fact, the four teams splintered into smaller groups which went on to do their own thing. Noone was able to convert anybody across to their point of view, even though they all ultimately wanted the same outcome. It was a complete failure in communication.

If our communication is poor, we are unlikely to achieve our goals, and if we do, it’s probably due to ‘good luck’ rather than taking responsibility for what we hear or how we deliver our message. By being accountable for our communication, we determine our own personal success, because the outcome we get demonstrates how well we have taken ownership of this two way process.

The good news is, if our misunderstanding or message failed to get the outcome we wanted, we can review our communication and identify where we did well and not so well. This means we can do it differently and better next time if we notice what works and what doesn’t.

If our communication doesn’t get the results we like, there could be several reasons for miscommunication:

1. Agreement is made upon different meanings because parties haven’t checked to clarify if they have the same understanding.

2. Rapport hasn’t been created between parties and communication doesn’t allow engagement with one another. Sometimes rapport may not be necessary, but in many cases, being in a space where minds think similarly or are open to new ideas is essential for being understood and gaining understanding. It’s essential to create win/win outcomes, otherwise parties could be working at cross purposes with one another.

3. Parties haven’t articulated themselves as clearly as they could have. This could be due to:

o   Not being clear about own outcomes. If we don’t know what the end result looks or feels like, we can’t possibly tell others what is required of them or carry out instructions. If we took responsibility for our communication, we would either clarify what a successful outcome looks like so we can identify with what’s required; or we take time out to assess what we want to achieve so we can communicate it effectively.

o   Assumptions were made about the information we delivered or received. We cannot afford to make assumptions that our audience has the same understanding as us because we all see and interpret the world differently due to our individual values and beliefs.

o   Seeing the big picture versus the little picture, and vice versa. Some people see the world in big chunks of information and others see it in lots of detail. If a big picture person conveys limited, high level information to someone who requires details to see the whole picture, there will potentially be a misunderstanding. The big picture person might expect the detailed person to be able to fill in the gaps, but if the detailed person can’t see the bigger picture, they may not reach the same level of understanding as the bigger picture person because of their individual view of how they see the world. The reverse is also possible; the big picture person may get lost or switch off ‘listening’ to the finer details.

In all of the above cases, the key to understanding is checking in and asking questions to ensure everyone has the same level of understanding. This means allowing for questions and answers and checking in to determine if everyone has understood the same meaning. This could be as simple as each party repeating back their interpretation of the communication they have just been part of.

George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright profoundly said; ‘The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.’ Yet it is the quality of our communication that will determine the quality of our lives. If we take responsibility for what we say and what we hear, and continually seek to improve our level of communication, we are likely to achieve more successful outcomes no matter how small or big our objectives are.

If your communication gets the results you seek, then you are taking responsibility for it. If you notice you’re not getting the results you want, you have a great opportunity to improve your communication by assessing your style and changing it so it’s far more effective by:

•   Asking for honest feedback from your audience 

•   Determining if you really did get the results you wanted

•   Asking yourself where you believe you could have done better or where misinterpretation might have occurred

•   Asking yourself if your audience were with you or against you

By taking these initial steps, you are on the way to improving your communication, and ultimately your personal success.

Remember you are responsible for the outcomes in your life. It’s up to you to change your thoughts and actions to be able to achieve the goals and dreams you desire.

We may not be aware of it, but when we interpret an event, or make a judgement about another person, it’s often based on values and beliefs we’ve learned from others. It’s quite natural that as we grow and develop we can take on the beliefs of our parents, siblings, teachers and mentors. Or, we might decide to believe in the exact opposite belief. We subconsciously accept them as truth without question or perhaps we proactively choose them because they appeal to us in some way. The beliefs we pick up from others can serve us well, if they’re in line with our own core values, but if they’re not, there is the potential for problems to arise.

If we’ve adopted another person’s belief-system, but feel that those beliefs are not congruent with the truth of who we really are, we could be acting out of sync in a way that doesn’t empower or motivate us. It’s important to be aware of what our inner instinct is telling us and whether the beliefs we hold sit comfortably with our moral-compass. These feelings of comfort or discomfort are like our personal guide, telling us whether we truly own our beliefs or whether we have adopted someone else’s beliefs, which don’t ring true. If they don’t feel aligned to our core values then we could be on the wrong path with our lives.

For example, Michael Phelps, the swimmer who won eight gold medals in the 2008 Olympic games at the age of 23, was diagnosed with attention deficit, hyperactive disorder many years ago. He was told by his teacher he would never be successful in anything as a consequence of his behaviour. He could have chosen in that moment to believe what his teacher told him and given up. However, he consciously told himself the teacher was incorrect in their assumption and attributes his success to their comments. Michael Phelps chose a different meaning for himself in that moment – a meaning that he could be successful and he set out to prove it.

The meaning the teacher made for Michael Phelps was a short-sighted assumption. The teacher had failed to see that it was possible to make other meanings for him. Our lives are what we choose to make of them. If we give a negative meaning to any situation or experience, it can potentially have a negative impact on other areas of our life. But the reverse is also true. If we choose to make a positive meaning out of the experience, this can have an affirmative and encouraging impact on other areas of our life. Even the negative moments, like failing a driving test or not getting a job interview can appear positive if we choose to give them another meaning.

In other words, we can choose to alter the meanings we give our experiences to empower us. For example, I may choose to play a sport I don’t really enjoy, because I believe it makes my mother happy. However, I might find out later that my mother was actually just happy because she thought I was happy playing that particular sport. I could choose to believe I wasted my time participating in that game when I could have done something else. Or I could choose a different meaning, that although I didn’t enjoy that type of sport; I made new friends, I learnt how to be tolerant, I gave something new a try without giving up easily, I learnt about teamwork, I learnt it’s about giving life a go, I learnt that my mother was happy if I’m happy!

As Tony Robbins says, ‘You see, it’s never the environment; it’s never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events – how we interpret them – that shapes who we are today and who we’ll become tomorrow.’

Remember you are responsible for the outcomes in your life. It’s up to you to change your thoughts and actions to be able to achieve the goals and dreams you desire.

Therefore it’s important that we don’t assume that everyone else will see, hear or feel the same experience as we do, and therefore give it the same meaning. If we did assume everyone has the same perception or understanding, this could result in misinterpretation, debate, disagreement, argument, or at the very worse case, war.

You’ve probably had various situations where you’ve witnessed the same event as someone else, but you’ve both given it a different meaning. These differences in our perceptions aren’t really surprising since we are bombarded with over two million bits of information every second, but can only take in about seven bits at any one time. We do this by deleting, distorting and generalising information, leaving out what we don’t think is relevant. Say, for example, we have a garden full of weeds. We might choose to delete the fact that there are weeds and ignore them completely. Or we could distort the situation by believing the weeds look attractive. Or we may even generalise because everyone else has weeds, believing it’s acceptable to leave the weeds in the garden.

By realising that we delete, distort and generalise information, we can start to explore how we do this on a regular basis in areas where we’re not getting the outcomes we want or in areas where we want to improve. So if you are experiencing the same old results in one area of your life, ask yourself the following:
- What can I do differently to ensure I get different results?
- What would somebody else do in my position – someone who I know gets great outcomes?
- What’s preventing me from getting the results I want? What are the barriers?
- What are the opportunities am I choosing not to notice?
- If I could achieve the best outcome I want, without fear or risk, what could I do?
- What would be the benefit to me and others if I change my strategy to achieve different results?

By being aware that we have our own unique way of viewing the world, and by removing our own personal assumptions and judgement, we can also take the time to appreciate and comprehend someoneelse’s ‘map’ of the world. By doing this, we can promote more effective and relevant communication with others. We can’t expect someone to change their view simply by pointing out what we perceive as a failing in their understanding. Our way of thinking may not suit, or even fit logically with their way of thinking, especially when that other person’s view of the world has been developed over many years and influenced by many different things to get the outcomes they want – even if they aren’t great results!

For example, if someone is constantly slow to take action, it might be easy to judge them as lazy. But what if something else is stopping them from taking immediate action? What if it’s a lack of confidence or a lack of knowledge and know-how?

If we take time to explore that person’s map, we could potentially identify what’s preventing them from getting the ultimate outcomes they want. By understanding their point of view, we might be able to assist them to find solutions by uncovering what they might have generalised, deleted and distorted with the use of great questions. For example, a person who has difficulty in achieving a particular task might believe when they can’t do that one, it means they can’t do any task. We could ask probing questions, like those already mentioned, and assist them remember tasks successfully completed in the past; a fact they had simply deleted, distorted or generalised in their current frame of mind. Uncovering past successes empowers them to realise that they have all the resources they need to succeed.

So it’s about understanding your own map and accepting other people’s perception will be different from our own. When we do this, we promote mutual understanding and are able to communicate at a meaningful level, maximising our chances of achieving our ultimate goals.

As American lawyer Dandemis says, ‘Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.’

Remember you have the power to change the outcomes you are getting in your life. It’s up to you to take ownership of your thoughts and actions to achieve your desired vision and goals.

Jeanine Bailey, Empowerment Coach

The key to achieving success in your personal and professional life is setting yourself goals.  Research shows that only three per cent of the population set themselves targets.  Those who practiced regular goal-setting demonstrated they were more successful in realizing their vision and dreams compared to the remaining 97 percent in the survey who didn’t actively set themselves goals.

There are a number of different models you can use when setting goals such as the S.M.A.R.T.E.R. model, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Accountable, Realistic, Targeted, Exciting and Recorded.

It states that goals should be:

Specific – so that it’s clearly understood what you’re aiming for
Measurable – so you can determine whether you have met your target or not
Accountable – deciding who or what you will be accountable to, thereby strengthening your commitment
Realistic – so you are encouraged to achieve your goal
Targeted and Time Based – by determining a time for completion, strengthening your dedication to the goal
Exciting – to encourage you to go for the major prize
Recorded – which also commits you to completion of the goal and can be referred to any time

John C. Maxwell, an internationally recognized expert in leadership, recommends using the following guidelines when setting goals for individual growth, either on a personal or professional level:

•    Make sure the goal is appropriate.
Always ensure the targets you set are feasible; that shorter term goals will lead to your final goal.  There’s no point choosing random targets which don’t bring you closer to your ultimate aspiration.

•    Make the goals attainable.
Objectives need to be achievable so you are not discouraged from the start.  Set smaller goals to begin with and build up the momentum to accomplish much bigger targets.  It’s like an athlete training for an important race: they set themselves a series of personal best times and train hard to beat them, one by one, until they are ready to go for the record title.

•    Make the goals measurable.
By having something specific to set your sights on, you can measure your progress as you accomplish each task that gets you step by step closer to your ultimate goal.  The sense of achievement you experience as you complete each task is hugely rewarding and encouraging.

•    Clearly state the goals.
By clearly stating your goals, there can be no discrepancies.  In a working environment, goals must be clearly understood and agreed between parties so there is no discrepancy about what needs to be completed.  If the goals are not clearly stated, it allows room for ‘excuses’ or misunderstandings between parties.

•    Make the goals a stretch.
Objectives need to be achievable, but they also need to be bigger than what you’ve done in the past.  One of our core needs as a human being is to experience variety.  Aim for a new target, which is more challenging than anything you’ve experienced before, which will inspire you to achieve, as well as enable personal growth.

•    Put the goals in writing.
By putting your goals in writing, you become much more accountable to yourself and to others.  This ensures you ‘keep your eyes firmly on the prize’ ahead – a constant reminder of your core purpose and aims.

And if you’re managing others, it’s important to review the objectives of those reporting to you and use it as an opportunity to encourage and support your team to stay on track and achieve the goals of the team.

As Italian born, successful American racing car driver Mario Andretti said, ‘Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.’

Remember you have the power to create the results you want in your life.  It’s up to you to manage your thoughts and actions to achieve the success you desire.

Empowerment Coach

If we were to take time out to examine the results that occur in our daily life, the chances are we would be inspired by some outcomes and de-motivated by others.  If we want more of the great outcomes, we need to ask ourselves what we are focussing on to produce the different types of results.

Once we’ve worked out what’s not working so well, we can make a determined effort to shift our focus to allow ourselves to notice and experience new opportunities we hadn’t seen before.  Or, if there is an area of our life that is working well, we can be open to fine tuning our focus even more to create even better results.  In essence, we’re refining our focus and heightening our chances of achieving our goals.

Sometimes our focus is so narrow we miss alternative options available to us.  However, a narrow focus can actually work for us, depending on what our ultimate goal is.  If we have a dream, which we believe is a possibility, even if it means making a huge personal effort, it can inspire us if our focus drives our actions towards it.  It’s like a race horse with blinkers shielding part of its vision.  All it can see is the racetrack in front.  The blinkers prevent it from seeing the stands, the crowds, other horses coming from the rear, camera flashes – all the potential distractions that could prevent it from winning.  The blinkers keep the horse firmly focussed on the path towards the finishing post.

However, if we are not motivated to achieve our dream or goals, it may be our focus is not in tune with what we ultimately want.  Sometimes our emotional state – for example our anger, stress or lethargy – doesn’t inspire us to achieve our vision because we’re caught up in an unsupportive mindset.  We may think it’s not possible to achieve the dream, or we give ourselves excuses like; ‘I’m too tired’, ‘I’m too busy’, ‘I can’t do it’ or ‘I’m not good enough’, etc.  This prevents us from seeing all the other countless possibilities available to us.

So, to realize our ultimate goal, we need to make sure our focus is in alignment with our supportive emotions, such as creativity, resourcefulness, openness and enthusiasm.  This allows us to be inspired and experience a sense of purpose, which ultimately spurs us on to take appropriate action.

Alignment between our vision, emotions and focus is like rocket fuel.  It can propel us towards our vision or dream with great energy beyond the imposing forces – like gravity – that we are faced with.  As Denis Waitely, a leading international productivity consultant says, ‘Goals (and a focus) provide the energy source that powers our lives. One of the best ways we can get the most from the energy we have is to focus it. That is what goals (and our focus) can do for us; concentrate our energy.”  In other words, the power of focus can bring about a new energy – just like pointing a magnifying glass at a piece of paper.  The magnifying glass concentrates the sun’s rays into a focal point and converts it into an energy which can cause the paper to catch alight.

Tapping into this energy, can have a powerful effect on your every day life.  Imagine working for an organisation whose vision and goals were totally in tune with your own personal goals.  You would feel a sense of affinity and a compulsion to move all your focus – your thoughts and efforts – to make things happen.  Even things you might have thought were impossible.

On the other hand, if you had trouble understanding and agreeing with the company’s vision and values, because it wasn’t consistent with your own personal goals at work, you might find it difficult to be motivated to achieve the objectives of your role.  You would lack the drive to carry out your duties to help the company achieve its vision.

So, if you are not enjoying the outcomes in your life, there are a number of things you can ask yourself:

•    If you have a firm vision or goal;
o    Is your focus pointed in the right direction towards achieving it? What can you do to change your focus so it is in alignment?
o    Do your emotions support or detract you from achieving your goals? What can you do differently to ensure your emotions support the achievement of your goal?

•    If you don’t have a vision or dream;
o    Where is your focus now?
o    What drives your behaviour? Is it a resourceful or an un-resourceful emotion?  If it’s un-resourceful, how can you turn it around to ensure you are being driven by a supportive emotion?
o    Are you drifting along, and if so, does that give you satisfaction?  If it doesn’t, what are your interests, what makes you feel motivated, and how can you turn these into a long-term goal or vision to aspire to?

Remember, you have the power to change the results you are getting in your life. It’s up to you to take ownership of your thoughts and actions to achieve your desired goals.

Empowerment Coach

Have you ever questioned the events that occur in your life or noticed the outcomes you are getting?  Are you surprised or shocked by what turns up, or do you generally know what to expect?

Whether we are aware of it or not, what happens in our lives is directly related to what we’re consciously and sub-consciously focussing on.  Our focus determines our results; whether it’s success, losing, abundance, poverty, fun or sadness.  Our focus is the source of our personal experiences.

Every day we are inundated with around two million bits of information at any one time; sounds, smells, feelings, our environment, colours, body movements etc.  However, we only have the ability to concentrate on a certain amount of information in that moment of time, so our focus acts like a filter system, sifting and separating what we notice from day to day. Our mind uses this process to narrow information down to what we can take in, which means ignoring things that seem less important.  For example, things like the feeling of our clothes against our skin, or the sound of air conditioning when we are focused on work.

This filtering process can have an impact on the results we get in our lives because we may fail to notice certain details, risks or opportunities outside of our focus.   On the other hand if the spectrum of our focus is too wide, we can take in too much information, potentially leading to a feeling of panic or overwhelm.  For example, many people are choosing to focus on the negative impact of the global crisis, which can lead to pessimism, insecurity and even depression.

However, others see the economic downturn as an exciting opportunity to start something new or develop existing niches such as the motor mechanic industry.  Many more people are choosing to get their cars fixed and serviced instead of buying a new one.  Warren Buffet, for example, has continued his ongoing success by seeing things other investors don’t and investing in companies and markets based on his ability to notice those opportunities.

Imagine your focus is a flashlight.  If you only point it into one corner of a dark room which has nothing in it, you could judge the whole room represents scarcity and lacks opportunity.  This could mean missing the opposite corner, which might be full of abundance and possibilities.  It’s about being aware of all the possibilities you haven’t been aware of before, ensuring your focus is on your potential opportunities and achieving the outcomes you want in your life.

If our focus is on fear, risks and disappointing results, what do you think we will notice around us? And what sort of results will we get in our lives if we are narrow in our way of seeing the world?  Conversely, what will happen if we choose to notice the opposite:  excitement, opportunities and optimistic, fantastic outcomes?  How rich in experience would our life become?

Lance Armstrong, the elite cyclist, was diagnosed with cancer before he won his first Tour De France.  His focus could have been on illness and it wasn’t worth pursuing his dreams.  But he chose to focus on a psychology of ‘I can beat this by doing everything in my power to make my dreams a reality’.  He used his sheer determination to beat the odds.  The powers of his focus lead him to winning seven consecutive races in the Tour de France.

Anthony Robbins, peak performance coach says: “It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become.  Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.”

So, ask yourself the following questions:
•    What results are you getting in your life?
•    Do you like the results you are getting?
•    If you do, how can you improve them even more?
•    If you don’t, what are you choosing to focus on
•    If you know what you’re focusing on affects the events in your life, what are you going to choose to focus on next?
•    What are you going to choose to focus on in the medium to long-term to get the outcomes you truly want.

Remember, you have the power to change the results you are getting in your life. It’s up to you to take ownership of your thoughts and actions to achieve your desired goals.

Jeanine Bailey, Empowerment Coach

If you’re the type of person who continually solves other people’s problems, what lessons are you potentially teaching people you are trying to help? Are you limiting their ability to grow because you carry their burden?

Taking on other people’s responsibilities is very tiring: absorbing their stress, constant problem solving, lost time, loss of focus. The knock-on effect can be you don’t make time for yourself to sort out your own problems and responsibilities. This means you cannot be an example of an empowered individual who makes possibilities happen and influences others to follow your lead. Nor can you pass on the gift of learning to others.

Conversely, if you are the type of person who constantly accepts help from others, how do you learn to solve your own problems and become empowered? If you let others deal with your challenges, how will you learn if you can’t exercise your intellect or try something new with the opportunity to make mistakes along the way – the key to personal growth?

Whether you’re held back by others taking away the opportunity to learn, or absorbed by rescuing those you perceive as floundering or not capable, it’s important to break the cycle by asking yourself what you can do differently, so you can fulfil your own potential as well as pass on the gift of learning. Consider the following alternative actions. Try them on for size and notice how it feels:

1.  Lead by example

Albert Schweitzer, a German-French theologian, philosopher, physician says; “Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing.”

Take responsibility for your own life first and you’ll empower others through your actions and words. This gives you the opportunity to exceed your own goals while influencing others to take responsibility for their own challenges. By becoming an inspiring example and allowing others to learn from the mistakes they make along the way, you assist them to find their capacity to rise to challenges and find their own solutions.

2. Asking great questions

Be prepared to ask questions of those who expect you to solve their problems or when you are facing issues and feeling disempowered. Asking thought-provoking questions can break the cycle of reliance and promote independent thinking. Consider using the following questions:

o If you knew the answer, what do you believe it would be?

o What do you think someone else – who could potentially find a solution – would do?

o If you could find the solution, what would you do?

o If it were possible to find an answer to the challenge, what would happen?

o If this were easy to solve, what would you do?

o If this challenge was disguised as a gift for you, what would it give you?

Asking questions like these gives back the person who is feeling powerless the opportunity to find their own solutions. Be patient and encouraging with them. You can offer suggestions when their own possible solutions are exhausted, but ask them to check-in as to whether your suggestions are appropriate for them. It’s about encouraging their thinking beyond where they might have consciously thought before.

If you’re posing these questions to yourself, to find a solution to your own challenges, ask friends or colleagues for feedback or suggestions. At the end of the day, you’ll know you’re on the right track if the solutions resonate within you – your true feelings can be great guide for future action.

3.  Don’t rescue those who have choice; don’t choose to be rescued

Rescuing those who prefer not to face up to their own challenges, actually can do them a disservice because they’re unable to learn from their own actions, and therefore, remain disempowered. This could mean they don’t develop life-skills to cope with difficult situations. This may lead to painful lessons learnt down the track, but the lessons can be invaluable if it inspires an individual to be decisive and responsible for their own results. Effective leaders serve their followers best by taking care of their own responsibilities first and foremost, and thereby becoming an example of how to step-up and be accountable.

There is a metaphor to demonstrate this concept. A father and little girl see a butterfly struggling to break free from its cocoon. The little girl implores her father to help the butterfly to escape. So the father very carefully opens the cocoon with tiny scissors to allow the butterfly to become free. After watching the butterfly, the father and daughter notice it’s in trouble. Little did they know butterflies must experience the process of struggle out of its cocoon to allow fluids to be pushed to every part of its new form. By ‘rescuing’ the butterfly, out of what they thought was kindness, they limited its chance of survival because the fluids hadn’t properly circulated around its body and wings.

Remember, you have the power to change the results you are getting in your life. It’s up to you to take ownership of your thoughts and actions to achieve your desired goals. By doing this, you will be serving others around you as an excellent example of self leadership and empowerment.

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Notice your language patterns. If you catch yourself using these words, determine whether they transpire into the results you want in your life – the areas where you can influence the outcome by stepping up and being totally focussed and accountable. Not areas where you have no control whatsoever, such as winning a lucky prize draw.

If you are not getting the results you want, it’s likely because words such as trying, wishing and hoping do not inspire you to commit firmly to your goals. They don’t demonstrate your decision to act for your own personal success.

Using words like these means you are unlikely to accomplish your dreams because you haven’t consciously made a solid pledge to yourself to achieve them. Your personal success should not rely upon wishful thinking or words or like try, hope and wish.

To achieve success and self empowerment, consider the following:

1. Choose to commit or not commit
Instead of ‘trying’, you either commit to doing what you want or you decide it’s not for you. By making a conscious decision to either commit or not to commit to action, you either start putting action steps into place to achieve your goal, or you give your mind a rest because it has one less thing to think about.

2. Be aware of the language you use
It may seem fussy, but a small change in words can significantly alter the meaning of a message you give yourself and your unconscious mind. (Your unconscious mind is where all your internal resources are stored – to be able to do whatever you decide to focus on).

Instead of using words like wishing and hoping, choose language that expresses your commitment. For example, I could say, “I hope I get a promotion at work”. Instead, I could choose to say, “I will perform my work activities beyond what is expected of me to create new career opportunities.”

Doesn’t the second option sound much more empowering and certain!

Choose your words so they express conviction, pro-activity and courage. If you do, it will change the way you approach a goal with a sense of empowerment and ownership, which provides a significantly greater opportunity to achieve it. Using this type of positive language signifies an undertaking, rather than relying upon hoping and wishing something will turn up without a firm commitment to act.

3. Action
Not only is changing your language important, because it sets up a proactive mindset towards the goal you want to achieve – following through with action is equally important. By identifying your next steps, you will be able to set yourself up for success.

By doing what you say you will do, you can experience something very real, which you can truly feel and own. We can easily say that we can do something that we have never done before and act it out in our head. But until we act, we can’t claim to say we can do something we actually haven’t done yet. We can’t claim – nor can we give away – what we don’t own or what we haven’t experienced.

Do you think leaders like Richard Branson or Barack Obama might have relied upon their hopes and wishes to get where they are today? Or do you think they had firm goals in mind with a strategy to ensure success? Do you think they went into action with an ‘I will try’ attitude or ‘I will do’ attitude? Something to think about for your own personal success.

As Mahatma Ghandi once said; “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.”

So what can you do to empower your life?
• Be aware of the language you use
• Decide to commit or not commit to particular goals
• Change your language – use positive, action based language
• Identify action steps to achieve your goal and success
• Act!

Remember, you have the power to change the results you are getting in your life. It’s up to you to take ownership of your thoughts and actions to achieve your desired results.

In other words we can cause things to happen which create the results we want in our life, or we can decide to be reactive where we sit back and blame others or ‘things’ for outcomes we don’t want.

Which side is going to be more empowering? The side where you make things happen that you want in life, or the side where you are at the whim of whatever emotions show up for you in that moment?

A mentor of mine once said: “Isn’t it better to take over the helm of the ship rather than being swept along with the wind and seas and end up crashing on the rocks, wondering how did that happen?”

We can either choose to steer the ship or we can throw our hands into the air and say it’s not my problem. We can take the wheel of a car and steer it to where we want it to go or we can say we got confused and take our hands off the wheel.

We have a choice to either step-up and take responsibility, or we can step down and give our personal power away to others or ‘things’.

Leaders will show up, and that can be anyone – no matter what their title is – during the tough times to do the best they can in that moment, because they are prepared to be accountable.” Henrik Ibsen – a famous Norwegian playwright – once said, ‘A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.’

The deeper truth is – everyone actually chooses their state of mind – whether to be masters of their lives or slaves to others. Choosing not to choose to be responsible for our own results and the way we manage our emotional response to situations is a personal choice. It means staying in our comfort zone, and that means little opportunity for personal growth and development.

Stepping up and taking the helm of the ship might still mean crashing onto the rocks, because life is just not about avoiding problems, it’s about who you are going to be when problems show up. It’s about being responsible in that moment – to be able to deal with challenges and motivate others to also step up.

Sir Stephen Redgrave, the English rower who won nine gold medals across five consecutive Olympic games, amongst other rowing titles, was successful beyond expectations. He was diagnosed with, and battled against a number of major illnesses, including diabetes, throughout his rowing career.

He could have chosen to let his illness dictate his life. He could have decided he would never be able to be a master of his craft or a leader in his field. Instead, he chose to do what was necessary to get the results he wanted and created a carefully managed health and training regime. His results speak for themselves.

So ask yourself the following questions:

· Do I accept I am responsible for the results I’m getting in my life? If not, what can I do to change that?

· Am I getting the results I want in my life? If not, what can I do to get the results I want?

· Do I feel empowered or disempowered? If I am disempowered, what can I change, what do other empowered people do to get their results?

If you don’t believe you are getting the outcomes you want, determine whether you are steering the ship or whether you are just a passenger. If you believe you are a passenger, have a go at steering the ship and see whether it gives you more choices about where you are going on your journey.

Remember, you have the power to change the results you are getting in your life. It’s up to you to take ownership of your thoughts and actions to achieve your desired results.

The comfort zone is where everything is familiar and where we get consistent results:  good and poor.  Stepping out of the safety net is about daring to change, learning, growing and succeeding.  If we choose to remain in our comfort zone, we miss the opportunity to find out who we really are and what we are truly capable of.  We also miss the opportunity to experience a fulfilling life.

As Alan Cohen, author and key note speaker said, “It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”

So here is something to stretch your thinking if you have been stepping up and out of your comfort zone:  when you do step up, you will probably notice increasing problems or challenges, popping into your life.

This is fascinating, because when we do start to develop and grow, these challenges potentially become bigger, and they also start to become part of our comfort zone because our comfort zone is expanding.  In other words, we become familiar with the challenges.

But what if these challenges aren’t really problems?  What if they are a gift for stepping up and taking greater responsibility?  What if they are opportunities for even further growth, development, discovery and self-awareness?

And here is a further stretch:  what if we have been sending these challenges or rewards to ourselves unconsciously?  These gifts of learning and development, which are the key to self-empowerment?  It makes things seem lighter, doesn’t it.

Greater challenges will come our way as we take on more responsibility, which is a way life feeds back to us when we are ready for even greater responsibility and development.

A mentor once said to me, “The more you take on, the more effective you become, and that means bigger challenges will be sent your way, because you are ready for them, leading to even greater fulfilment and success.”

Nelson Mandela is a wonderful example of someone who takes on larger challenges the more he steps out of his comfort zone in pursuit of achieving his dream.  Not only has he been able to influence his own nation – but many others – to create significant and powerful change for the benefit of others.

Eleanor Roosevelt is another great example, stepping out of the zone against substantial obstacles in pursuit of influencing civil rights and women’s movements.  In her formative years, Eleanor was known as being incredibly shy and insecure, but broke free of these shackles by becoming a key spokesperson and writer, as well as First Lady to the President of the United States.  She is considered to be one of the most influential people in the twentieth century.

So every time you feel challenged and stretched, this is the time to get really motivated and excited about embracing the gift of problems in the form of a challenge, because this means you are learning more and more each time.  This is the time to accept the challenge whole-heartedly and see how new possibilities become available to you.

And just when you believe you are on top of all your challenges, you can be sure – and should be prepared – for even bigger tests.  This is life’s way of saying you are ready for the next development phase in your life.  Embracing uncertainty outside of your comfort zone is your pathway to a successful and rewarding life.

Remember, you have the power to change the results you are getting in your life. It’s up to you to take ownership of your thoughts and actions to achieve your desired results.